Japanese Phrases I Can’t Stand

shoganai (it can’t be helped, that’s the way it is) – often an indicator of lack of initiative, not wanting to think outside of the Japanese box and do creative problem-solving. 

mendokusai (it’s bothersome; such a pain, too much trouble) – when they’re forced to do something out of the ordinary, like treat people like individuals and not clones who think and behave exactly the same.  Dealing with anyone who’s different and requires accommodations such as those who are disabled, foreign, special education, vegetarian, people with food allergies is mendokusai.

tabun (maybe) – Getting a straightforward answer is often like pulling teeth.  If you make a statement and turn out to be mistaken, nobody is going to sue you.  Just say, “Sorry, I told you the wrong thing.  The Correct thing is _____.” But no, the way Japanese culture is set up does not allow for that.  Which explains why I was perplexed by how hesitantly people often spoke in Japanese! They’re trying to choose the exact right words.  It’s this quest for perfection that gets in the way of spontaneity, creativity and just plain communication. 

2017 

Advantages & Disadvantages to Living in the Inaka

Inaka is the Japanese word for countryside.  My first two years in Japan I lived in a tiny village in Gunma.  It was so mountainous and rural that I had to take a two-hour bus ride to get to the closest small city and train station.  From there, it was a two-hour train ride to Tokyo.  While traveling outside of the village was inconvenient, there were many advantages. 

1.  You spend less.  There are no stores to waste money on. The cost of living is cheaper.  My monthly rent was less than $100 USD, in contrast, an apartment a quarter of the size of mine goes for $900+ USD in Tokyo and other large cities. Great for paying off debt or saving.

2.  You have more time to develop hobbies, take online courses, etc.

3.  People in rural areas are less likely to Speak English, which means that you get lots of opportunity to learn and practice the language.

4.  Country people are universally friendlier than city people.

5.  You feel like part of the community.

6.  Free produce:  the countryside is full of generous farmers.  I constantly got free fruits and vegetables from my neighbors, co-workers and other villagers.

7.  Country schools have smaller classes, and country children are universally better behaved.

8.  There are lovely views of the mountains, especially in spring and autumn. The night sky is gorgeous.  It’s peaceful.

The disadvantages to living in the Inaka:

1.  People are always in your business because that’s how small villages work. Gossipers are on overdrive. 

2.  If you’re different. You will stick out.  There is no blending in.  You will be noticed everywhere.

3.  It can be isolating.  My first year, I went four months without seeing any other foreigners.  During winter break I attended a Kwanzaa celebration in Yokohama and wanted to run up and hug everybody there. 

4.  You will run into very traditional, provincial thinking.  For example, it’s not unusual for people to get married young, like in their late teens or early 20s.  Another example is blatant sexism or rigid sexual roles. A co-worker once whispered to me that one of our administrators took the trash and recycling out.  When I failed to see a problem with that, he explained that that was his wife’s duty. Yeah, juicy gossip.

5.  Specific to where I lived: winters were bitter cold.  This was made worse by the fact that most houses and apartments in Japan don’t have central heating.  

2019 

Influenza Panic

Last week Satoshi, an eighth grader, and Takahashi-sensei, the math teacher, had the flu.  Now Tomoya, another eighth grader has it.  The staff are in such a panic, you’d think it was tuberculosis or something.  Everyone is wearing masks and spraying rubbing alcohol on students’ hands before lunch.  There was even talk of postponing the afternoon’s Uta-garuta poetry card competition.  Back in October, when everyone (students and staff) lined up to get free flu shots, they thought I was odd for opting out.  Now I think they’re odd for not having any faith in the shots they received. 

While everyone is strapping on masks with religious fervor, handwashing has not increased or improved.  The only two people who regularly and thoroughly wash their hands are the custodian and nurse.  Everyone else just wets their fingers for 2.6 seconds and ignores the soap. 

January 2019

It’s funny and ironic to read this. Who knew that a year later the world would be seized by something much worse than influenza? 

Wrong Bus or Pandemic Attitude

I’d been putting off going to Donkihote to buy sunflower and pumpkin seeds, but today was warm and partly sunny, so I decided to finally go.  When I realized I was on Bus 65 when I should’ve been on 61, I walked toward the driver to speak to him and… You know that thing you do moments before you have to say something in a language you’re not fluent in? Compose the sentence in your head and practice it once or twice under your breath before you say it out loud?  I.  Could.  Not.  I drew a complete blank.  It’s been almost three months since my Japanese classes were suspended, and two months since schools closed, so the only time I have a chance to speak at all is when I go to supermarket. And that doesn’t even count because it’s always, “Excuse me, where are the sweet potatoes?” or “No bag, please.” 

So I said nothing, and rode the bus to the terminus before asking the driver if he went to Nantoka Station.  He told me to go to the bus stop across the street, and the next driver would help me.  As I waited, I came up with three different ways I could have relayed my message to the driver.  I felt so silly.  Once I got on the correct bus, I watched signs whizz past my field of vision.  I was reading most of them without even trying.  Well, at least my reading hadn’t gotten rusty.  Before the pandemic changed daily life, I’d learn new phrases on Sundays and, even if I didn’t get to practice them right away, I’d often hear my co-workers or students using them during the week, which would then reinforce them in my brain.  But the way things are now, there’s zero language interaction going on. 

On the way home I began a mental list of all the things I hate about how COVID-19 has affected my life: thinking constantly about germs, having to wear a mask (inconvenient for bicycling), being unable to sing with the choir, postponed/cancelled trips (to Korea, the U.S., Cuba and Ghana), being unable to meet with friends in Tokyo, et cetera, et cetera.  Then I had to stop and remind myself to be grateful.  Grateful for my health, for a peaceful place in which to wait out the pandemic, for unemployment insurance, for spring flowers blooming everywhere in a riot of color, for the internet keeping me connected to those I love, for the million and one blessings that I don’t even notice.  I must be thankful.  

05/25/2020

Ginger Happy Trail

Saw a ginger near Okachimachi Station.  He yawned widely and stretched his arms up to the sky.  To my great surprise, when his shirt rose up it revealed a red happy trail on his slightly round belly.  Now, everyone knows that, barring dye jobs, the drapes and carpet usually match (which explains the unending fascination Japanese men have for blonde and red headed women), but I’d never considered that the same was true for happy trails. It’s not like I sit around thinking about the body hair of redheads.  #Amused 

2019

Japanese Customer Service

“Shitamachi Museum, is open today?” I ask the woman at the information desk at Ueno Station.

“Shitamachi Museum…?”  She grabs a map and starts showing me how to get there, then realizes what I asked.  I’d even phrased my English sentence in a Japanese manner to make it easier for her.  She asks her co-worker who shows her a listing of nearby attractions and their hours of business. 

“Ueno Royal Museum is open today.” She says pointing at it on her map.

“What about Shitamachi Museum?”

“Shitamachi Museum…?”

“Yes, this one.” I point at Shitamachi Museum on her map.  She consults again with her co-worker, who shows her the same list as before.

“I’m sorry.  Shitamachi Museum is not open today.”

“Thank you.”

This is one of those cultural differences that irks me.  Japanese people are so unwilling to give a negative response that they will answer a question you did not ask, just so they can give a positive one.  Had she said that Shitamachi was closed, then offered the option of Ueno Royal, that would’ve been fine, but to act as if I’d asked about Ueno Royal all along is irritating.  No Westerner will think less of her if what they ask for is not available.  However, they will be annoyed if she ignores their original request and offers what they did not ask for. 

To make clear just how ridiculous her first response was, Shitamachi Museum is dedicated to traditional culture of Edo period’s working classes such as craftspeople, fishermen, sailors, merchants and rickshaw drives.  It contains replicas of their shops and living quarters.  There are very specific exhibits I’m interested in viewing.  The Ueno Royal Museum displays modern art----something I can see anywhere in the world.   The two museums are very different, therefore, not interchangeable

This is a quintessential example of what happens when you separate language from culture.  This woman had learned a Western language, but not its culture, so she responded to a simple question in a very Japanese way.  The first time I ran into this dissonance was in Korea during a staff meeting.  Our manager had announced several changes to our work duties.  One teacher asked a clarifying question, another asked if the changes were allowed according to our employment contracts, and third asked about the reasoning behind the changes.  The man hit the roof!  He threatened to fire anyone who had a problem with the changes.  We were flabbergasted by his reaction.  My colleagues, who admittedly could be jerks sometimes, had done nothing wrong.  What they did was perfectly normal and reasonable in the West. 

Here was a Korean who knew nothing about Western work culture, conducting a staff meeting in English with a bunch of New Zealanders, Americans, South Africans and Canadians.  They asked questions, and he got all angry thinking they were being disrespectful and insubordinate.  To us that might seem laughable, but in Korean work culture, administrators are kings, so anything they say, employees do unquestioningly.  He had expected us to behave like typical Korean employees, which we were not. That is why language must always be taught alongside with culture (especially for those who will be dealing with foreigners regularly). It’s almost as important as correct pronunciation and grammar. 

If this sort of scenario only occurred once in a while, it would be easy to overlook, but it happens all the time (even with my co-workers), so it grates the nerves. “No” is not a dirty word.  If you give a negative answer, I promise not to burst into inconsolable sobs or throw myself on the floor in a toddler-style tantrum.  Just give me a simple answer and we can go from there. 

2019

I Probably Had the Novel Coronavirus

December 8:  I went to Japanese class.  Most of my classmates are Chinese or Vietnamese.  
December 15:  I started on my way to class, stopped to photograph the neighbor’s winter roses and was suddenly overcome by muscle soreness all over.  I rode a couple blocks, turned the bike around and went home.  That night I developed a cough.  

December 16:  I felt awful.  Luckily I was sent home after lunch because that day there were classes only in the morning and meetings in the afternoon.  That evening I video chatted with a friend and told him that I thought I was getting the flu.  The cough got worse.  It was dry and did not generate any phlegm.  I drank warm water with honey and lemon, but it did not give much relief.  I sucked on cough drops, and they did not help much.  The only time I had some phlegm was in the mornings when I woke up and it always had a bit of blood in it.  Was I coughing too hard?  Was I damaging my throat?  This was the strangest sore throat I’d ever had.  

December 17/18:  At night I was trying to sleep and just could not inhale.  I got scared.  Having a stuffy nose is one thing.  It’s quite another to be unable to breathe, as if something is pressing down your chest so your lungs cannot expand. I thought I might die.

December 19:  I worked at School A, the one with the toxic co-teachers.  I got a couple coughing fits there.  The second one was really bad.  I simply. Could. Not. Stop. Coughing.  I know I sounded terrible.  Three teachers were chatting about two meters away from me in the staff room.  They continued talking as if not hearing anything.  The principal and vice principal stood at the head of the room just watching me.  When I told a friend this, he said, “They were waiting for you to die.”  The only one who had some decency was Shibukawa-sensei, the math teacher, who came from his desk all the way across the room and asked earnestly, “Daijobu desu ka? (Are you alright?)”  In three classes Shibuya-sensei, who knew I wasn’t feeling well had me read several pages aloud from the textbook which was totally unnecessary because those selections were all on the companion CD which was cued up on the CD player sitting on the table next to her. Heartless bitch.  

December 20:  The vice-principal at School B seemed genuinely worried when I had a coughing fit.  Somehow I made it through the day. Yay, winter vacation begins!  

December 21:  Went to church.  Was so tired.

December 22:  Mostly slept.  

December 23:  I had planned to visit my old school in Gunma.  I dragged myself out of bed, bought a box of omiyage and made it all the way to Takasaki Station before I realized that I wasn’t going to arrive before the end of the school day. I went back home and slept.  

December 24:  Went to School C because the home economics teacher had promised to let me use a sewing machine.  I had lost my tablet case earlier in the month and needed to sew a new one.  After making the case, I stayed up all night chatting with friends and family and posting Facebook notes. 

  

December 25:  Spent a few hours at Ikea in Chiba. Went home and slept for 14 hours.  Slept ridiculous amounts of time for the next two days only coming down from the sleeping loft when I had to pee.  I don’t even know how I was generating urine when I wasn’t even drinking, just sleeping.  The cough was getting a little better.  

December 28:  At church the choir had a mini-concert.  I told the choir director that I hadn’t been feeling well because I had one of the solos.  He encouraged me to do my best.  I drank lots of water and sang.  It was okay, I guess. 

December 29:  I had organized a craft meet-up in Tokyo, so I went.  We were supposed to meet at Snowy Village in Shinjuku, but the two others ended up at the one in Shibuya.  I didn’t even know there was more than one Snowy Village.  Went home and slept. 

December 31:  I was feeling better, but then my period started.  Enter killer abdominal and back pain.  There were a couple events I could have attended, but stayed home with a heating pad on my belly.  Happy new year! I have exciting plans for 2020.  Can’t wait.

Took it easy and didn’t travel for the remaining week of winter vacation. 

January:  Lists of symptoms started circulating the internet, and it dawned on me that I may have had it.  I’d had all but two of the common symptoms.  I rarely get so much as a four-day cold, so this whole thing was unusual. Thank God I’m healthy and have no other medical issues because I was able to fight it off without going to hospital.  So grateful that the symptoms weren’t more severe. I’m also glad that it happened close to winter vacation, which allowed me to rest as much as possible without any worries. 

It also occurred to me that if I did, indeed, have the novel coronavirus, I may have been spreading it.  I had no idea.  I thought it was a weird sore throat. At that point, only Wuhan had the virus, so why would I think that I had contracted it living in Japan? Had I known, I would have just stayed home instead of going about my business the way I do when I have a common cold or sore throat.

February:  I noticed that all my Chinese classmates had disappeared from Japanese class.  I hadn’t seen them in weeks.  I wondered if they were okay.  I wondered if one of them had infected me.  Of course, that’s pure speculation because: 1) China is a massive country. 2) I don’t even know if my classmates are from Wuhan. 3) My classmates may not be recent arrivals. 4) I could’ve gotten it in Tokyo with all those tourists milling around everywhere. I had already gotten better, so I was more worried about them than anything.  There were reports of Japanese being very discriminatory toward Chinese people because COVID19 had originated there.

April:  Now I’m just trying to stay healthy because I don’t want to experience that again.  I told my brother, but not my parents.  They worry enough as it is.