Sexism in Korea

March is low season at the English Village.  That means that very few, if any, students came on campus.  Because of that, we teachers were outsourced to other places during that month through a program called Teach Away.  “Kimmy,” my Korean co-teacher, and I were assigned to work mornings at a home for adults with developmental disabilities in the countryside, and afternoons in an after-school program for the children of working parents----working mothers, really----in the nearby city.  It is common, sometimes even expected,* for women to quit their careers to become homemakers when they get pregnant, therefore, such programs exist for elementary school-aged children with two working parents. 

At the after-school center, children get help with homework, eat snacks, do art projects and other activities.  “Kimmy” and I were tasked with teaching simple English lessons and a craft activity.  One lesson example is we told them that spring was coming soon and asked them to tell us ten signs of spring. They’d say things like cherry blossoms, butterflies, green everywhere, etc.  We’d write their words on the board, then teach them the English equivalents.  After drilling the English vocabulary, we taught them a simple song about spring, then an age-appropriate spring-related craft:  cut leaves and flower petals out of construction paper to make a spring scene with the younger group, flower origami with the older group.  

Our classes were last, so children were collected by their parents right after our second class.  Two brothers, were often picked up late, so they’d hang around us while we erased the chalkboard, wiped down the low tables, collected supplies, and stacked cushions.  Since it was technically still winter, and Korean buildings are notoriously drafty, I always wore my long orange scarf during class.  Sometimes, while tidying up the classroom, I’d feel a soft tug-tug on my scarf, “Seongsemnim!  Seongsengnim (Teacher)!”  It was the younger of the brothers, a first grader.  I’d stop what I was doing, kneel to his level, and he’d ask me something.  If I understood the question, I’d answer. If I didn’t understand, I’d say, “Mulayo (I don’t know).”  He’d respond with a torrent of words.  I’d just nod my head and say “Ne...majayo (Yes...that's right).”  Satisfied, he’d then walk away.  This is something I love about the little ones, they are undeterred by the language barrier, so they just talk to me as if I understand everything.      

One day I commented to “Kimmy” how cute I thought he was, always tugging my scarf and asking questions.  She agreed that he was cute, then she lowered her voice as if she were about to share some scandalous gossip, “His mother is divorced!”  I was shocked.  Especially since, at barely 30, my co-teacher was much too young to have such an archaic attitude.  But then, she is the product of her culture.  This is a place where divorce is blamed on the woman no matter what caused the breakup, men almost always get custody (because they’re the breadwinners), a married woman (preferably a mother) is more valued than a single one, and divorced women have very little hope for re-marriage (especially if they have children).**  It’s understandable why women stay in abusive and toxic marriages, especially given that many will immediately plunge into poverty the minute they divorce. Of course, their social standing will also take a nose dive.    

A single woman over 30 is considered over the hill, so I also thought it was ironic that she was being judgemental of a woman according sexist standards that could also be used against her.  “Kimmy” did marry (and quit her job) a couple years later.  I heard that she suffered some sort of pregnancy loss.  A childless married woman?  Yet another factor this society uses to judge women by (even if it’s something out of their control, like a fertility issue).  By comparison, a childless, unmarried man of a certain age might be nagged good naturedly by family and friends to get with the program, but he is not being pressured and judged.  And his social standing depends more on his earning power and maleness rather than marital status or progeny.

*This is the reason why job applications ask one’s marital status. And it’s not uncommon (nor illegal) for women to be asked during job interviews if they plan on having children.  How they answer is often used to decide whether they’ll be hired. 

**This explains why you’ll sometimes hear about cases where divorced or single mothers will surrender their child to an orphanage to improve their chances on the (re-)marriage market

Advantages & Disadvantages to Living in the Inaka

Inaka is the Japanese word for countryside.  My first two years in Japan I lived in a tiny village in Gunma.  It was so mountainous and rural that I had to take a two-hour bus ride to get to the closest small city and train station.  From there, it was a two-hour train ride to Tokyo.  While traveling outside of the village was inconvenient, there were many advantages. 

1.  You spend less.  There are no stores to waste money on. The cost of living is cheaper.  My monthly rent was less than $100 USD, in contrast, an apartment a quarter of the size of mine goes for $900+ USD in Tokyo and other large cities. Great for paying off debt or saving.

2.  You have more time to develop hobbies, take online courses, etc.

3.  People in rural areas are less likely to Speak English, which means that you get lots of opportunity to learn and practice the language.

4.  Country people are universally friendlier than city people.

5.  You feel like part of the community.

6.  Free produce:  the countryside is full of generous farmers.  I constantly got free fruits and vegetables from my neighbors, co-workers and other villagers.

7.  Country schools have smaller classes, and country children are universally better behaved.

8.  There are lovely views of the mountains, especially in spring and autumn. The night sky is gorgeous.  It’s peaceful.

The disadvantages to living in the Inaka:

1.  People are always in your business because that’s how small villages work. Gossipers are on overdrive. 

2.  If you’re different. You will stick out.  There is no blending in.  You will be noticed everywhere.

3.  It can be isolating.  My first year, I went four months without seeing any other foreigners.  During winter break I attended a Kwanzaa celebration in Yokohama and wanted to run up and hug everybody there. 

4.  You will run into very traditional, provincial thinking.  For example, it’s not unusual for people to get married young, like in their late teens or early 20s.  Another example is blatant sexism or rigid sexual roles. A co-worker once whispered to me that one of our administrators took the trash and recycling out.  When I failed to see a problem with that, he explained that that was his wife’s duty. Yeah, juicy gossip.

5.  Specific to where I lived: winters were bitter cold.  This was made worse by the fact that most houses and apartments in Japan don’t have central heating.  

2019 

Sexism in the Classroom

The sixth grade home room teacher at School C only calls on the boys.  He asked about six questions and didn’t once call on the girls who had their hands up.  Many teachers only call on the ‘smart’ kids to ensure that the question they’ve asked will get a correct answer, but I’d never seen anything like this before.  It’s one thing to encounter this sort of thing in a rural area where people’s way of thinking is still very traditional and provincial, but in a city?  I’m surprised the girls still even bother to raise their hands.  Maybe they haven’t yet noticed that he only calls on boys.

He’s about 30 years old. 

When given the chance to call on students, I always make it a point to call on a girl, then on a boy, then on a girl, and so on.  Hopefully, somebody noticed.  

2019

Teaching in Asia Ain’t No Picnic

Some friends in the U.S. have commented that I must have it easy teaching in Asia because my students must be perfectly well-behaved, super-diligent angels who never give me a moment’s worth of trouble.  Ha!

First of all, the idea of a Model Minority that many people have about Asians is a racist myth.  And it’s harmful because it causes undue pressure to people who don’t always measure up to its ideal.  Second, the myth may partly be based on the fact that Asian immigrants to the West are usually very hard workers and diligent students.  But this is also true of Caribbean immigrants (Remember the joke about them having five jobs each?), Latino immigrants, African immigrants, you get the picture.  Second and third generations aren’t usually as driven. 

It goes without saying that no racial or ethnic group is superior to any other.  Those who compare groups and come up with ‘evidence’ to prove that fact are usually not taking history into account.  Also they’re usually people who don’t belong to either group. More often than not, false equivalencies are inaccurate indicators of anything.

My first two years in Japan I taught at a school in a tiny mountain village.  Country kids are universally more relaxed and well-behaved than city kids because they hold on to childhood a bit longer.  My friends who teach in big city schools have a very different experience.  Their students grapple with bullying, smoking, drinking, and violence toward each other (and sometimes toward teachers). I’ll share a few observations I’ve made about the not-so wonderful side of teaching in Asia.  While most examples are from Japan, there are many similarities with Korea. 

One of the eighth graders stinks like a homeless old man who hasn’t bathed in weeks.  The school nurse and his homeroom teachers refused to say anything for fear of upsetting his parents.  Meanwhile, he was insulting his classmates and teachers daily with the stench. 

There is another boy who does bathe regularly, but sweats a lot, so whenever you get near him, it smells like an ogre’s armpit.  Nobody will speak to his parents about it or even give him a deodorant.

Japanese schools have rules on top of rules about the most insignificant minutiae, but zero consequences if students break rules.  So a boy beat up the smallest girl in the school (threw her down and banged her head repeatedly on the cement while several other boys watched) and his punishment?  He got yelled at by the Social Studies teacher.  That’s.  It. 

One time a student came to school wearing yellow socks (the uniform requires white socks) and the staff made such a big deal about it, you’d think he’d shown up in his pajamas.  It was discussed during staff meeting and the mother was called.  Yet, a girl gets beat up by a bigger boy and they basically just shrug it off.   

The school nurse is lazy.  She spends half the day scrolling through shopping websites.  Whenever a kid is unwell, she immediately calls mothers to come pick them up.  She won’t let any of them to lay down for a few minutes on one of the beds in the nurse’s room.  The absolute minimum is what she does.  Her husband is the superintendent of schools, so nobody dares complain about her.  One time a kid went to the nurse with a belly ache.  The nurse immediately called the mother.  The thing is that she is a divorced working mother, not a housewife, so she can’t just jump up to pick up her son.  The nurse did not care.  She pressed her to get someone to take the kid home.  Finally, the mother was able to get a retired neighbor to do her the favor.  When the neighbor showed up, I was shocked.  He looked at least 95 years old. 

Sexism:  at some schools, student names appear in alphabetical order; boys first, girls second.  So a girl whose surname begins with A comes after a boy whose surname begins with Y.  This matters because everything is done according to class list order.  If I’m giving a speaking quiz, the students will be sent to me in that order.  During the graduation ceremony, students march in and are given their diplomas in that order.  When the dentist came to school, every homeroom went down to get checkups.  Things took longer than expected.  So when the period began, I had a classroom full of boys.  Why?  Because they got checked first and the girls were all still waiting to be seen.  This sends children the message that girls are lesser than boys.  When I asked my co-teacher why this is done, he gave the most laughable BS explanation with a straight face.  And of course, he sees nothing wrong with the way things are because, as a man, he benefits from society being sexist.  

Everything is run by old men.  They prefer to keep things the way they have always been, which makes the smallest thing complicated.  I asked for the school’s WiFi password so I could find images to add to a PowerPoint presentation I was creating for class.  I wanted to use my five-year-old laptop because it’s faster than the school’s clunky desktops.  After a few phone calls, I was told that they don’t give out the Wi-Fi password because it will compromise the firewall.  What?  I’m no IT expert, but I know that that explanation makes no sense.  Why even have WiFi if you’re afraid to give people the password?    

If you care about the environment, the insane amount of paper that is wasted every day will send you into despair.  Instead of e-mailing announcements, they print them out and give each teacher one.  Multiple announcements every day…always one-sided, and sometimes multi-page. Everything must have a hard copy.  If it’s not mailed physically, it must be faxed.  Yes, faxed.  The last time I sent a fax was in 2002.  Then I came to Japan and had to start sending faxes regularly. 

Students with special needs or with mental issues often go undiagnosed and untreated.  Most schools don’t have trained special education teachers.  There’s an acute nationwide shortage.   At my last school, the special education students were the responsibility of the music teacher.  She could often be heard shouting at them about minor infractions.  I don’t have any training to deal with such students, but I do know that a bit patience goes a long way, and shouting is not an effective way to get anything accomplished with ANY child. 

At another school, the physical education teacher was charged with taking care of the most difficult special education student.  He was a first-year teacher fresh out of university.  The school already had a PE teacher, but they hired him because they needed someone to handle the most disruptive, physically aggressive kid in school.  That teacher never got to teach any PE classes.  He felt tricked.  This is not what he signed up for----to be a babysitter or to be scratched, bitten and kicked.  The boy he was charged with didn’t just have a learning disability, he had serious socio-emotional issues, which would be a challenge even for a veteran teacher, much less a new graduate.  Understandably, he quit after the first year.

So, no, teaching here isn’t necessarily easier.  It can be very frustrating, especially if you care about the students.