Typical First Conversation with a Japanese Person

Where are you from?

U.S.A

Oh, America where?

Connecticut. [Nobody’s heard of Connecticut, so I always draw a map of the U.S. and show them where it is. If there’s nothing to draw on, I just say it’s between New York City and Boston.]

What’s famous in your hometown?

My state is beautiful in autumn because all the trees change colors. People from other states come and take photos. Also, my state has the best women’s university basketball team in the country.

Then they tell me that they vacationed in Los Angeles years ago, or that their cousin studied at a university in Minnesota.

How’s Japan weather?

It’s very similar to what I grew up with.

Really??

Yes, we have four seasons.

Eeeeh?! [Why do so many Korean and Japanese people believe that theirs is the only country on planet earth with four seasons? It is basic geography that if you live on the same latitude line as another country in the world, you experience similar weather. What are they teaching in social studies classes?]

How long have you lived here?

Do you speak Japanese?

Then comes the dreaded “Do you like Japanese food?” (There’s a separate post about this topic.)

How tall are you?

176 centimeters.

Do you play basketball?

No.

What sport did you play in school?

Guess.

Track.

No.

Volleyball.

No. I’m a swimmer. I was on the swimming team.

Eeeeh?! Oh, long arms and legs! Good for swimming fast!

No, I wasn’t a sprinter. I was an endurance swimmer. I swam the long races.

What is your job?

I’m an English teacher.

How are Japanese students? Okay?

Yes, they’re okay.

If they know that I’ve taught in the U.S., they want to know if Japanese students are more hardworking than American ones. Nope, they’re a mix of diligent and lazy just like everywhere else. Y’all ain’t special.

If they know that I’ve taught in the Korea, they want to know if my Japanese students have a higher level of English than my Korean students.

Korean children usually have a higher level of English than their Japanese counterparts, not because they’re smarter, but because Korean schools begin teaching English earlier.

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Korean variation

Very similar to the above, but add the following:

Do you know kimchi?

Yes.

Do you like Korean food?

Yes, some dishes.

If they hear me speak Korean, one of the following will happen:

a) uproarious laughter

b) amazement and adulation at the utterance of one simple word or easy phrase

c) “You should speak better.” 

March 5, 2020