“Are you her father?”

We were practicing Handel’s Messiah and the choir was in need of more tenors and basses.  Each week the director asked us to invite friends who might want to sing with us.  I tried to recruit Uiyeol, who I’d noticed had a nice voice during song service in church.  He went twice, but was more interested in checking out the white women than singing.  Besides, he didn’t think he was good enough to sing with us (typical Korean perfectionism). 

Then I invited Mr. Ahn, who had serenaded me with a lovely rendition of ‘Love Me Tender’ one afternoon on the platform of Jemulpo Station.  He was in his 60s and had retired from working on a U.S. army base.  That’s where he’d learned how to speak English.  Ironically (or not), his speaking was more natural and correct than most of my Korean co-workers who had had formal language studies.   As we started up the hill toward the choir studio in Haebangcheon, he got a bit nervous.  “This place doesn’t look safe.  You must be careful,” he warned.

Each week, a different voice was tasked with bringing snacks we would eat during rehearsal break.  This week it was the altos’ turn.  I’d forgotten to purchase something in Incheon, so we stopped at a corner store near Bonnie’s Pizza.  The shop clerk looked us over silently as we entered.  When I was making my way to the register to pay for my boxes of cookies, he asked Mr. Ahn, “아버지세요?”  I stepped to the counter and said, “No, he’s not my father.”  Startled, he exclaimed in English, “You understand Korean?!”  I put the money on the counter and said, “Yes, and you’re rude.”  How dare he insinuate innuendo between sweet Mr. Ahn and me? 

Many Koreans believe that men and women cannot be friends. Also, people usually only have friends in their age group, so I understand that going somewhere together with Mr. Ahn must have raised eye brows.  However, every stupid thought that comes to your pea-sized brain need not come out of your mouth.  Had it not been so close to rehearsal time, I would’ve gone to a different shop for my snacks.  As we left, he apologized.  I gave him a dirty look.         

October 2012